
10 Steps to making friends in a University
1. Be rich.
People are attracted to you like flies if you have the most recent gadgets, the most fashionable clothes, the bling-est accessories, the most souped up car! It doesn't matter if you're a robber, a failure or a murderer - they would still flock to you like bees to honey!
They do not care 'who you are, where you're from, what you did' as long as your damn rich!
And also it would be best that you pay for most of the lunches and dinners as a bribe for them to be your friend.
2. Be beautiful.
If you are pretty or handsome, you need not worry if you have a horrible personality, if you do not have any hint of personal hygiene - people would still go after you because of your looks and if you are a man, the odds are definitely on your side, because girls would just love to 'repair' your flaws and as for the girls, the guys will shower you with gifts that would serve as a subtle hint that that is what they want changed (like a corset, a push-up bra, a tooth brush or a deodorant)
People are attracted to you like flies if you have the most recent gadgets, the most fashionable clothes, the bling-est accessories, the most souped up car! It doesn't matter if you're a robber, a failure or a murderer - they would still flock to you like bees to honey!
They do not care 'who you are, where you're from, what you did' as long as your damn rich!
And also it would be best that you pay for most of the lunches and dinners as a bribe for them to be your friend.
2. Be beautiful.
If you are pretty or handsome, you need not worry if you have a horrible personality, if you do not have any hint of personal hygiene - people would still go after you because of your looks and if you are a man, the odds are definitely on your side, because girls would just love to 'repair' your flaws and as for the girls, the guys will shower you with gifts that would serve as a subtle hint that that is what they want changed (like a corset, a push-up bra, a tooth brush or a deodorant)
3. Be powerful.
How to become popular on the first day of college? Well, announce it whenever you can that you have links* with some popular actress, singer, songwriter, movie maker, a lecturer - anyone whose name everyone would know and you would immediately become the favorite in the crowd because people love people with power and most are always is in wanting of more glamor.
Links* could be just a facebook fanclub and the person might not know you at all!
How to become popular on the first day of college? Well, announce it whenever you can that you have links* with some popular actress, singer, songwriter, movie maker, a lecturer - anyone whose name everyone would know and you would immediately become the favorite in the crowd because people love people with power and most are always is in wanting of more glamor.
Links* could be just a facebook fanclub and the person might not know you at all!
4. Be loud.
The louder you are, the more friends you would gain because in college standing out is the most important thing so if you're the loudest, even if people despise you - you would have friends because they would be noticed whenever they are with you. You are like a loudspeaker (pun intended) FOR them, announcing their arrival.
5. Be the smartass.
There is always this one person that would constantly talk back to the lecturer, would ask smartass questions and would behave as if he/she owns the planet and often times we wonder why they even have friends because they sure as hell is a HUGE pain in the butt. The truth is, some people are attracted to smartasses, they like sharing the limelight with these sort of people because when you're a smartass, it would seem like you're actually smart and that leads us to ...
The louder you are, the more friends you would gain because in college standing out is the most important thing so if you're the loudest, even if people despise you - you would have friends because they would be noticed whenever they are with you. You are like a loudspeaker (pun intended) FOR them, announcing their arrival.
5. Be the smartass.
There is always this one person that would constantly talk back to the lecturer, would ask smartass questions and would behave as if he/she owns the planet and often times we wonder why they even have friends because they sure as hell is a HUGE pain in the butt. The truth is, some people are attracted to smartasses, they like sharing the limelight with these sort of people because when you're a smartass, it would seem like you're actually smart and that leads us to ...
6. Be intelligent
The best way to show that you're intelligent is by being first a smartass (refer to number 5). People are attracted to smart people because if you are in a university eventually you would have to do group assignments and a genius is the best way to boost your CGPA! In addition to that, if you are a smartass and therefore a loudmouth - it would be awesome to have you during presentation because all the attention would be directed to you.
7. Be adventurous
Go on skydiving trips! Jump of bridges! Go surfing! and remember to post all the pictures online! Sooner or later, people would pick it up and realize - WHOA this person has a HOT BOD! (refer to number 2) and would want to join you, so that other people would think they are cool too. They just want to steal some of your awesome limelight!
8. Be active
8. Be active
Go for every single meeting there is - student council, student affair, sports - everything! Join every single club available, be the president of every single club out there (even if it means you would resign a week later with the excuse of having too much on your plate, the plate that you filled to the brim!) then talk to everyone promoting your multiple clubs and people would love to be with you! (refer to number 3).
9. Be promiscuous.
Yes, I've said it.
This one's easy to explain. Go clubbing, drink like a fish and (this is an extra) sleep around or have multiple partners at a time. Eventually everyone would know you because you either clubbed and puked on them, clubbed and slept with them, or their your current partner!
10. All of the above would not work, if you are not beautiful (refer to number 2) and if you're not rich (refer to number 1) and though you might get by with having just one, you won't be doing as well as those who have 2 and better yet all of the 9!
10. All of the above would not work, if you are not beautiful (refer to number 2) and if you're not rich (refer to number 1) and though you might get by with having just one, you won't be doing as well as those who have 2 and better yet all of the 9!
Please note that all of the above would not work if you do not have a FACEBOOK account!
Cheers!
Contribute a piece of your mind to : help.psych.ed@gmail.com.(Include your name AND a pseudonym)
0 comments to 10 Steps to Making Friends in a University